TRANSFORMING SYSTEMS BY MAKING COERCIVE CONTROL VISIBLE
End Coercive Control Blog
The Strategies & Tactics of Coercive Control, Abuse of Power & Undue Influence
HOME OF THE QUICKSAND MODEL® of COERCIVE CONTROL
When the Mirage Is Revealed: Trump, DARVO, and the Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control
As an expert in coercive control and the creator of The Quicksand Model®, I’ve spent years teaching professionals and survivors alike how to recognize the patterns of domination, gaslighting, and narrative manipulation that define coercive and controlling abusive power. This week, the US political landscape has provided a stark, public demonstration of these dynamics—on a national stage… Again! Donald Trump’s behavior over the past several days is a masterclass in the weapons of coercive control, with a primary focus on the goal of Evading accountability through Escalation. As the House moves closer to releasing the full files on Jeffrey Epstein—a convicted sex trafficker with whom Trump’s connections are both deep and well-documented—the president’s responses have become increasingly erratic, vindictive, and revealing. The Quicksand Model® in
Institutional Betrayal: From “Witch” to “Parental Alienator”—How Family Courts Silence Protective Parents
Disclaimer: It is important to acknowledge that not all victims of coercive control are women, and not all coercive controllers are men. People of all genders can experience or perpetrate coercive control. However, statistically and according to extensive research, the harms of coercive control are predominantly, and most dangerously, inflicted against women. This reality is reflected in both prevalence data and the severity of outcomes observed in family courts and related systems. This work discusses the concept of parental alienation, which does have some scientific validity as a phenomenon observed in certain family dynamics. However, when these concepts are applied within systems marked by structural inequality, their application can become unjust and may further silence or harm protective parents. When we look back at history,
The Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control: Reflections on the Assassination of Charlie Kirk
Kate Amber, MSc Posted on: September 17, 2025 The recent assassination of Charlie Kirk has sent shockwaves through the nation, not only for the tragic loss of life but also for the disturbing patterns of coercive control that have emerged in the aftermath. As the founder of The Quicksand Model® and a lifelong supporter of ending coercive control (even though I didn’t always know what it was called), I am compelled to examine how the administration’s and media’s responses to this event have mirrored the very dynamics of abuse and manipulation that our movement seeks to expose and dismantle. The reactions—marked by double standards, double speak, and the classic DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) maneuver—offer a sobering case study in how coercive control operates far
Three D’s of Coercive Control in Action: Double Speak, Double Down, and Double Standards in the Yemen Signal Messages Scandal
Examining How Government Officials Deploy Classic Coercive Control Tactics in the Wake of Leaked Military Communications
Sinking in the Quicksand of Coercive Control: How Force, Fraud, and Fear Erode America’s Democratic Foundations
As a survivor, researcher, and consultant in the field of coercive control, I’ve dedicated my career to understanding and combating the insidious tactics used by coercive controllers to manipulate and dominate others. Today, we find ourselves facing a stark reality: the strategies of coercive control, as outlined in The Quicksand Model®, transcend personal relationships and infiltrate the very institutions meant to uphold our democratic values. The recent capitulation of Paul Weiss law firm and Columbia University to presidential threats serve as chilling case studies of how the F’s of Force, Fraud, and Fear can erode the integrity of even our most respected institutions. Let’s examine these events through the lens of The Quicksand Model®, which provides a framework for understanding the dynamics of coercive control: FORCE: In the case of
Stuck in the Muck: Why Trump’s Reign Feels Like Quicksand
In the political landscape, power dynamics are always in play, but what happens when these dynamics shift from the usual tug-of-war into the realm of coercive control? As we reflect on Trump’s time in office, we see parallels between his tactics and strategies and the pattern often seen in intimate relationships characterized by coercive control. Here, we’ll use the Quicksand Model® of coercive control to dissect this further. Before we delve into the specifics, let’s set the stage with some understanding of the Quicksand Model® and its E’s: ensnare, entrap, exploit, prevent escape through escalation, erase, and eradicate. These strategies and tactics of coercive control align with the coercive controller’s goals for domination. They act as the blueprint for the coercive controller’s actions, allowing them to systematically manipulate
Coercive Control & The Double Bind of the Continuing Resolution
Coercive Control Through the Lens of The Quicksand Model®
Exposing the Insidious Nature of DARVO in the Viral Town Hall Incident
As Founder & Chief Visionary Officer of End Coercive Control USA (ECCUSA), I am deeply concerned about the recent viral video depicting a woman being forcefully removed from a town hall meeting. This disturbing incident serves as a unique systemic example of the insidious tactic known as DARVO. DARVO, one of the coercive controller’s weapons in The Quicksand Model, stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. It’s a strategy we often see in cases of domestic violence and sexual assault, where individual perpetrators use it to avoid accountability for their actions. But increasingly, we’re seeing DARVO used on a systemic level to silence and punish folks who dare to speak out against oppressive systems, resulting in institutional betrayal perpetrated against the targeted victim, and confusion and distress for